A Ride With the X

Posted: June 8, 2010 in Friends or Relationships but actually anything in between, Musings

I thank God that even if I don’t have everything I want, my life is definitely not boring.

Last Friday was supposed to be my routine commute from our home to Santolan MRT. Since I avoid the crowd at MRT Cubao station, I walk from Santolan Crame to the station as part of my morning exercise LOL. So as I was closing in on the stairs on the south bound side, I saw someone familiar, someone who I know pretty well. He was waiting for a taxi. And then I realize who he is and thought to myself, “Why is he here?” Anyway when I was about next to him and was about to open my mouth to speak, he turns to me and then says, ‘Uy, bat ka andito?’ And Voila! Good morning, ex-boyfriend.

Since he now lives in Las Pinas, I was wondering why he was here. But before that, I asked where he was going. He said he was going to Edsa Taft because he opened a new business there. And I knew for a fact that his default means of public transportation was a taxi. And as if the universe was having its way, a taxi appeared and slowed down in front of us. I said I was taking the MRT to Ayala, and as I had expected, he offered for me to come along and he’d just drop me off. So I said yes.

So its been 3 months since we last talked. Unlike the majority of broken relationships, he and I managed to stay as friends. But it doesn’t mean that we did not have our ‘painful’ moments. We only became friends after almost 2 years  since we broke up. A phone call, after more than a year of  zero contact, sealed our fate as friends. He asked me if he and I can be friends. I said yes, since it was the mature thing to do. After all, we did not hate each other when we parted ways; we probably still loved each other when we did.

As the taxi was engaged in Edsa morning traffic, he was all smiles. I have this effect on him. And he’d wrap his arms around mine (we were in the back seat) and say that I made his day. He even made the half-meant joke that he was having an erection just being next to me. He still loves me, even after all that we’ve been through and the sacrifices that we’ve made. How do I know? Because he told my Mom about it, when he visited  months ago.  You see, my Mom knows about our relationship; my Mom even treats him like a son. I, however, have stopped loving him long since. When you are in-love you lose all logic, all reason. There is no wrong, everything is justified…

My ex, has a wife and as of this time, 5 kids (and counting). He’s just 32 years old though. He impregnated his wife when he was just 18. I was 2 weeks in-love with him when he told me the truth. And me being no different than everyone else who’s fallen deep in-love, I didn’t stop right there and then. My head was screaming for me to make the right decision, but my heart begged me otherwise. My heart won that tug-of-war, so from that moment on, our relationship was like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode any minute… and it did 1 year and 4months later.

In fairness to us, we did love each other. I threw away some of my principles, sometimes I’d take his side rather than my family’s. He would prioritize me over his family, his kids and his business on his own accord. He was (and still is) the jealous type, and would always check up on me whenever. I gave him all the time I could possible, I’d even wake up late at night when he calls me just so that we can share a few hours together. We already planned for a future together although deep down I had my doubts, but he made the effort to pay the downpayment for a condo we’d live in and we almost started a small business. I cannot possibly summarize how far our relationship had gone in a few paragraphs, and all of the important juicy details, but we were in love, it may be flawed, but love was what it was.

It all ended when he prioritized his ‘freedom’ rather than what we had. I never wanted to take the place of his family or his wife. I was content being the one on the side… But one day he decided to tell his wife that he was gay and that I was his boyfriend. The wife knew me as his bestfriend. The ticking time-bomb had finally exploded. It was a tough ordeal for us. He lost like 10lbs and this was the Christmas season. Lots of tears were shed. It was probably the saddest Christmas in my entire life.

You’re probably thinking I was wrong and probably you’re right. But I learned a lot: from life, to love, to relationships, to business, to setting goals, to planning your future. After all he was a millionaire at age 28. It felt like I matured 5 years after it ended. Its been 3 years since. As we talked about our lives and what we’ve been doing recently, I was wishing that I meet my special someone soon. Even though here he was, my Ex, trying to win me back subtly, I now know better. I deserve to be number 1 in someone’s life. I will not settle for anything less. And as I went down Ayala and said our goodbyes, in my head I wished him well. After all, he was a big part of what I have become; a better person, stronger and wiser.

  1. GM says:

    Bravo! Such a class act! You made yourself proud. Well done!

  2. DM says:

    Nice one. No bitterness. Clap clap clap. I do sense some love still linger 🙂

  3. poi says:

    awwwe. 🙂 i’m all smiles. a heart person! but a mind person in the end.

    OT: very cool layout! 🙂

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