New Drinking buddy? Nope.

Posted: May 4, 2010 in Musings

We have gone out with a few guys. Have a few beers, relax over coffee… and the meet-up usually turns out nice. I mean, there’s no hostility, no pretensions, at least on your part. But after parting ways, waving goodbyes and wishing each other well, they suddenly, for lack of a better word, disappear. And you don’t know why.

I mean what’s up with that? Recently I thought I had made a drinking buddy out of a stranger, but now its as if he does not exist. He’s not answering any of my calls 2 days after we met. But we were calling and checking each other up days before as if we were exclusively dating or something. And this also goes without saying that he does not answer any of my texts. I just wasn’t able to answer his last call because I was watching IronMan2, and texted I’d call him after the movie. And now he’s gone. Like WTF?

Is it so hard to make friends when you are older? I honestly think so. There’s so much going on in an adult person’s mind compared to say like a 6-year old. If we were 6-year olds, he’d probably be still around and we’d be playmates (minus the beer), and playing is all we’ll ever care about. Also friendships between guys are hard to start and maintain, simply because men are not ‘mushy’. Women, for example, bond by just simply sharing experiences, woes, and other aspects of their emotional persona. Men just don’t. Men cultivate friendship by being in the SAME experience, by bonding and sharing time together, by say sports, work or an engaging hobby. We don’t easily get attached to each other by just talking about the trivialities of life, but rather by doing some ridiculous stuff together.

I admit I expected a lot from him, him coming from the same school. I had high hopes because he hasn’t been tainted by the website where we met since he was new to the entire internet dating/chatting/hooking up thing. Oh well. And now I’m even having paranoid thoughts. What if someone, not in his right mind, is trying to sabotage the relationships I am trying to create? What if someone is deliberately badmouthing me to make other people stay away from me? <- And is this even possible? It is, yes, but he has to be able to have access to my account and my cellphone logs. Or if my online account is listed somewhere as a person one should stay away from for reasons I dare not guess… Ok fine, I may be giving in to my paranoid tendencies but damn.

Why would he choose to stop seeing me? I mean, I saw it in his eyes. He was sincere, and I’m usually 90% accurate. Or maybe I’m just mistaken and haven’t learned anything about the gay dating scene. People change colors ALL the time. Something is amiss here… Maybe he’s just scared or his friends told him something? I can say he’s attracted to me in some way coz he stayed at my place for a while. In any case, I should stop thinking because this will not bring him back. But this really isn’t what I need right now. God takes away so that he can replace it right? But it’s not like my cup is full or anything.


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